Hello Everybody,

Well, it's Day 5 and things are still cold (yeah, I'm surprised too). All our vehicles have arrived and there was only a minor skirmish (Think screaming, not punching) over parking with a transportation unit next door. In the end, we prevailed and kicked the truck drivers down the road, a whopping 50 feet. But, as they say, any victory is better than a defeat, and if the neighbors aren't pissed at you, you're probably not in the Army.

Today chow was a bit light, but that's not so bad. The local economy supports us when we need it, and soldiers should be thin and in shape (some of us REALLY need to work on that). The bad news is that I have reacquired a bad habit. I am officially a smoker, again. I know what you're thinking, after almost 2 years without a cigarette, why would a anybody start up again? Well, stress is best defined as the emotion created when one's mind overrides the bodies natural desire to beat the living shit out of someone that desperately needs it. The one thing that we have most here on the Iceberg, is stress, and instead of acting out my most violent fantasies on the paper-pushing REMF's (Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers) that aren't in a hurry to leave this wonderful Iceberg, I decided to have a smoke. Then another one. And again. Wash, rinse repeat and I'm a smoker. Hurrah! So, if anybody is feeling charitable (and rich, damn taxes anyway) send me a pack, or two, or a carton. DO NOT SEND NICORETTE GUM OR PATCHES. I have tried to smoke them and they taste like ass, and don't burn with a shit either.

On the positive note, I'm working out quite a bit. No, not at a comfy gym like you lucky civilians, we do push-ups and sit-ups in out barracks (they're homey, considering they're from WWII and we lost the heat AGAIN last night). Tomorrow we're off to fire our rifles and see if they actually work in negative weather (ummm, well it looks good on paper).

Think positively, and remember the French, while good at many things, suck desperately at combat, diplomacy and common sense. The streets of Paris are lined with trees because German Soldiers prefer to march in the shade. Any collective group of morons that sued Hitler for peace in 1938, and were then surprised when he lied (GASP!) and took their country in 18 days (a record at the time, I believe), should be removed from global decision making. Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a rant, um, yeah I did. The next time we liberate Paris, we should plant our own trees.

Love,

Will