Hello All,
First the good news. My nephew was born on Friday, July 25 and his name is Jacob. Jacob is a wee bit early, if you consider 12 weeks early (and I do), but everything is going well so far, and my little sister (nod and a wink to those that know) is doing well too. He came out pink and crying and ready to start his life with an attitude of, “Don’t stand no the tracks when the train is coming thru!” I like the kid already. I’d appreciate it if you could keep the little guy in your prayers, he weighs less than 3 pounds right now and he’s not quite out of the woods yet.
And now for the not-so-good news. On Wednesday night a very strange sight was seen here at Camp Patriot. There was a soldier walking down the road with a rucksack on and another soldier behind him holding onto the rucksack. It’s not strange to see soldiers walking around with rucksacks, it’s not strange to see them walking around in pairs, it IS strange to see one soldier steering another with a rucksack. Add in the fact that the soldier wearing the ruck was having difficulty walking, talking and keeping himself in a vertical posture. I’m sure that’s what the Major thought when he saw them walking down the street, and when he investigated he discovered that they were, **GASP**, drunk.
Well, the jackass (see soldier wearing the rucksack) was drunk and decided to go on a road march with a full ruck (maybe he decided to walk home instead of waiting for the plane?). His buddy realized he was gone and went looking for him. After finding him in public, drunk with a full rucksack, his buddy realized that there was a mountain of shit about to fall upon them. The only way to try and escape the mountain was to move the jackass home, quick and quiet, but that isn’t an easy thing to do in Kuwait. Of course they were spotted by an officer, the Major, and that’s when the mountain began to fall.
Generally speaking, I try to get along with everyone. In the Army, I don’t care if you are infantry, artillery, supply or chemical, we all wear the same green suit. I might give you a hard time about your job, but it’s usually all in fun. The only group that I have had consistent problems with are the MP’s (Military Police). I should point out that most of my problems with the MP’s were my own fault. I mean, somebody has to enforce the rules because if they didn’t, we’d have anarchy (dogs and cats, living together! No wait, that’s something else). My problem is with the attitudes of the MP’s that I have ran into over the years (of course, my attitude probably didn’t help out there either, but this is MY story). My problem also lies with the fact that in the military it only takes one person to screw things up for everybody (I asked a friend if he could think of any other group where everyone was punished for a mistake like here in the Army. His response, “A water ski pyramid.” You’ve got to respect a quick thinker).
But you’re probably thinking, “Back to the story!” So here we go. The Major detained the jackass and his buddy by putting them at the position of attention (Yep, disciplined soldiers cannot move from the position of attention, even if there is a mountain of shit about to fall on top of them) It’s amazing to me that they didn’t run, but then again, the jackass probably couldn’t have run if he was on fire. The Major began to question the troops, and one of them (probably the jackass) confessed that they were drinking, and trying to save his own ass ratted out his buddies. MP’s were called, naturally, and then mountain began to hit.
I’ll bet that you’re thinking I was one of the unlucky pair. If you know me you’re probably thinking that I was the jackass. Well, for once I was not on the receiving end of a mountain of shit, and by grace of God, neither was anyone in my company. The unlucky contestants in, “Don’t be a jackass,” were from a Regular Army transportation unit, that went home today. Well, most of them went home today. When the MP’s were notified, they were not happy. The transportation units commander wasn’t happy and you can bet your ass that a certain sergeant major (do you remember him?) wasn’t happy at all. What happens when all these people are unhappy? Pain happens. Negative reinforcement is big in the Army, and a motto here is, “We can’t make you do anything, but we can make you wish you had.” The MP’s began a shakedown (Army for empty all you possessions onto your bunk so I can look thru them and then lets go take a look at you truck) of the entire transportation battalion.
In case you don’t know, that’s a whole lot of people and trucks, and as you can imagine, they found a whole lot of booze. Enter pain and suffering.
This is where my view of the events gets a little blurry, because I can’t find anyone reliable to tell me what is happening to the unlucky troops that got busted. The word around post is that they are still here awaiting UCMJ (Uniformed Code of Military Justice or Army Law) action under Article 15 (administrative punishment including a loss of pay, rank, barracks restriction and imprisonment). If I had to wager a guess, I’ll bet that every soldier that got busted will be busted down to the lowest grade possible, have their pay reduced by half for at least 3 months, and be sentenced to 30 days of extra duty, but some people I’ve talked to thinks that’s letting them of easy. I think the title Jackass fits pretty well here. I’d be even more upset if they started a shakedown of my company, but they haven’t, yet. I know it’s just a matter of time before they do, and that bugs me not because I’m hiding booze, I’m not (anymore at least), but because it’s a gigantic pain in the ass.
I have been told there was a still, but I’ll bet that they just used a 5 gallon water can, 4 gallons of fruit juice, a pound or two of sugar and some yeast and, um, err… no, take that back, I have no idea how they might have brewed up booze in a dry country.
Well, I’d better get going. You never know who’s going to be the next contestant on, “Don’t be a jackass!”
I love you all,
Will
PS> J’s boot came in last night, and the supply sergeant is eating lots of shit today.
Ugh Boy - You mean to tell me that the jackasses that unleased this shitstorm were celebrating their last day in Kuwait by getting shitfaced-hammered? And had they waited another day to get their party on they could of avoided this inconvenient f-up in their military career?
I think that home made hooch must have gone baaaad - real baaaaad, like turpentine bad.
Your post is going to be look more and more like a prison on lockdown before you know it.
Here's hoping yer friendly with the warden.
Congratulations Uncle Will, to the new mom & your folks becoming Grandparents - if Jacob is cut from the same cloth as you he is a real trooper thru and thru. Hope you get to see a picture of him soon.
Will,
Congrats on the new arrival to your family! My cusin, who is like my sister just had her second son in July 18th and he was several weeks early. He is not as small as your nephew so my heart and thoughts go around your nephew like a white light to protect him and pull him through this so he can see uncle Will!
Then the second part of your post cought my attention hard core and would love more details if you ever can get them(and share them). My boyfriend who I have mentioned in other posts is in a transporation unit over there. Do you know what unit yet or were from? I sure hope it is not his, I don't want to see him come home for some stupid reason like that. Exp seeing he told his parents the other week that the units they need the most over there right now are MP units and Transporation units. Sucks that Army is going to loose one. Hope things don't get too strict over there. Please please keep me posted if you can.
Natalie
P.S. I shared your web log with my boyfriend's sister. We both cracked up at the "Woogie, Woggie, Woogie" story and the "I'm a humvee, I'm a humvee, I'm a humvee." Some how we could see my bf/her brother doing the one and being anoyed with the other. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: Natalie on July 27, 2003 02:26 AMWill,
Ok so I re read your post and realised it was not my bf's unit. He is not at Camp P as far as I know. So that is a sigh of relief that I won't be seeing him home soon due to lovely reading material that he has or does not have. Still I would love to have up dates on this. I find all of this every interesting.
Natalie
Posted by: Natalie on July 27, 2003 02:37 AMCongratulations Uncle Will!!! you know big things come in small packages!! but I will keep the little guy in my prayers.
And on to the other matter. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THOSE TWO!!! DON'T THEY KNOW HOW DANGEROUS IT IS TO BE INTOXICATED OVER SOME PLACE LIKE THAT!!! you guys need to be on guard at all times. being drunk over there can cost you your life. I do feel for them because you know they are probably trying to escape reality. man, my heart goes out to you men and women over there. we all will continue to pray for you guys. keep up the good work!
P.S.
good job getting Saddam sons, now we need to get Saddam!! GO USA!!!
Will
Congrats on Uncledom and congrats to your sister!
I hope the following will ease your mind at least a little: I also have a sister who a year ago had a baby boy, 3 months premature, but weighing in at 1 pound, 6 ounces, literally fitting into the palm of my hand. And, it is times like these that you realize (and stand in awe of) the miracle of God working through incredible physicians and nurses, and of the miracle called creation.
His beginning was not easy, with lots of machines, tests, time spent in NICU, but the docs and nurses did everything they could for his care, not only for his physical well-being but also to nuture him and I have faith that they will do all they can for your sister's baby as well.
My little nephew is just a little over a year now and walking, crawling, climbing (over the dogs, up the curtains, out of his crib.....lol) - with nothing to indicate his birth was any different than any other baby's.
I will definitely say a prayer for your sister's son (as well as you soldiers) but I also have faith in God's miracles and his love.
As for the JA's, despite their stupidity, I can't help but hope for some leniency for them - everyone has their breaking point and evidently they had reached theirs since they knew what they were risking.
Take care Will.
Posted by: LV on July 27, 2003 07:31 AMWhooo Hoooo! *shakes yer hand...aw hell..gives ya a hug* Congrats Uncle, and prayers to your sis and nephew. By the time the day is over I bet he has a good part of the world praying for him! If God takes care of the sparrows, he will take care of Jacob.
Nice "J" got his boots before he got home, though it wouldn't have been ALL bad if he got home first, either! *raises eyebrow, rolls eyes*
Understood about anarchy, (See dogs and cats, gerbils and fish, living together, total chaos - oh wait...you're correct..that's something differnt...that's called an interspecies orgy!) *heh heh heh* but doing their job sure makes it easy to get ticked with them, eh?
Well, I hope MR. JACKASS AND ASSOCIATES is happy. Sheesh! Screwing up your go home date, putting your company through bunches of bull prior to bye bye, and to top it all off, being quite the public moron (he can thank Grasshopper Will for further announcing his stupidity to the rest of the world who DIDN'T know about his blunder!) was not only "manly" but intelligent thought process at work, no doubt. (See sarcasm)
Hmmmmmmmmmmm....aren't you glad you dumped YOUR stuff many moons ago?? I bet you are! I'm betting that's one of the fist thoughts that crossed your mind when you heard all this go down, eh? LOL Well, besides the thought of WHAT KIND OF JACKASS GOES OUT WHILE DRUNK, MAKES A RATHER PUBLIC DISPLAY OF IT, THEN INCRIMINATES HIS BUDDIES FOR A GRAND FINALE??????????
Everyone grows older, not everyone grows up. Aint that the truth!!
The theory of “We can’t make you do anything, but we can make you wish you had” applies also to where I work - prison. And that goes for inmates as well as officers. Your question of "could you think of any other group where everyone was punished for a mistake like here in the Army" also is replied to by one word: prison. Also, your theory (though eloquently taken back and unstated) of HOW this MR JACKASS, SIR! got his liquid of trouble is most likely quite correct. I know that's how they do it in prison! Whooo man, does that stuff reek too! It could peel the paint off concrete floors! Nasty, nasty stuff. You'd think Mr Jackass would've/could've/should've waited just a bit longer to celebrate with a proper beverage of choice, eh?
Here's to hoping your company escapes 'interrogation', and that Jacob thrives and can go home to his momma very soon.
Love, Hugs, Prayers to you and yours,
Judi
who BUSH is not send army for LIBÉRIA
Posted by: luiz paulo/lp7 on July 27, 2003 11:38 AMWill ~ Congratulations to you and your family on your new arrival !! I'm going to be an Aunt for the 21st time in January and I'm just as excited as when the first one born !! Can't wait tell you all come home safe, and remember that there is alot of cold ones just for you and anyone else. Thas is only if you want to share that is !?!?!
God Bless you all ~
Love ya ~ Joanski (-;
Posted by: joanski on July 27, 2003 12:33 PMHey Will! I have been reading your "rants" for a while, and just decided to give you some hope about your new nephew. My daughter was born 12 weeks early also, and she is now 12 years old. With great nurses, doctors and all the prayer he's getting, he will do fine!! Your sister can't help but worry, but I will also pray that your little nephew will do fine! Thanks for your letters to your Mom. I'd love to know how many people really do read them! You could give Jay Leno a run for his money!!! Hope you're home soon! God Bless!!
Darlene~
Hey Will.
Congrats on becomming an Uncle. I bet you can not wait until you can get home and hold that little one in your arms and start spoiling him to death. July 25th is a great day! Since it is also my birthday.
My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you and your men over in Camp P. and every where else, as well as with your sister and her now bigger family!
Hi Will,
Congrats on becoming an Uncle. I'll be praying for little Jacob and your sister. I'll bet he's got a little of his Uncle Will in him, and will be a tough little fighter.
Regarding the jackass, some people are just idiots! No common sense whatsoever. What was he thinking? Obviously he wasn't thinking. What a damn fool. He's lucky he didn't get himself and his buddy killed. It's amazing that some otherwise grown adults have to be babysat. Unreal.
Glad to hear J finally got his boots.
You all over there are in my thoughts and prayers. Many people hoping to hear a date when you all will get to come home, so you can play with your nephew while writing your book. Hang in there, and stay safe.
Uncle Will - It don't get no better than that. Spoil the crap out of 'em and then send 'em back home. Congrats to T&R, will keep little Jacob in the prayer chain. He'll be fine. He started out small but will probably be able to beat the crap out of you by the time he is 10.
Sorry that the hypothetical question probably isn't that hypothetical. Damn middle managers!!
Stay safe my friend, keep your chin up, your head down and your backside covered.
Congratulations Uncle Will, Will's sister and family! To Jacob, sleep well little guy and grow strong knowing you've got a bunch of people pulling for you and your family.
To Uncle Will, even more incentive for you to stay safe now! Nobody can spoil a kid quite like an uncle (or aunt)!
Take care, Kathy
Posted by: Kathy on July 28, 2003 09:07 AMWill,
My nephew weighed under three pounds when he was born too. You'd be amazed what the special care units in pediatrics are capable of. He washome in six weeks and was almost 7 pounds.
Posted by: fatmike on July 28, 2003 12:18 PMCongratulations Will! I know your nephew Jacob will be blessing to you and your family just as my nephew Jacob Colby has been to my family and me. My Jacob will be 2 on August 3 and he has a firm grip around my heart just as I know your Jacob will steal your heart very soon.
God bless Jacob and give him strength. God bless Will and continue to keep him safe, and provide Will with a safe and speedy passage home very soon.
Hi Will!Uncle-Will!!
Congratulations for the last born Jacob, sure one of the first descendant of the most humoristic soldier of USA!!!
Now, a pleasant thought will accompany you till your return home!
Hoping you could hug him and your family..soon,
Bye bye.
Ilenia
Just got an email from your Mom in Chicago. A great uncle you will be. I was so glad to hear that Sharyn was there with her. My thoughts and prayers will be with them as they continue to be with you and your troops. Hurry home and take care. Love and prayers. Ella Jo
ps. Got your birthday card back two days ago with about five cancellations on it and then send back to sender. Will send it to your Mom for when you get home.
Hello uncle Will,
best wishes for little Jacob.We didicate him this poetry.
Grow child and become man
You was born and you a member of world.
In this life you don't be afraid to live,
you surpass very obstacles, but don't you despise the life also if it is made the cruelty.
Grow child and become man
With love
Milena and Adriana
Hey Will,
It seems that with you don't bore,you continue to tell of you,it does well to you and we like it.You don't think "it's boring,it's bore this rules!"Beh,we make an exception to the rules,in september we meet our friends and go to the sea for a party and also for a beautiful drinked.Our motto is "is here party?".Don't remember,you are invite all.CIAO
Adriana and Milena
Posted by: Adriana.Milena on July 31, 2003 07:20 AMSorry, Will, but you got some bad information from somewhere (and it couldn't possibly be from your Mom). Jake was actually born on Thursday, July 24 -that's local time. Since you are on the other side of the world right now, imagine it was the 25th before you got the word. At any rate, you have to believe me - I'm the GRANDMOTHER.
Love,
Mom
Will is a pretty good writer and this is the collection of his writings. It'll be interesting to hear updates from a soldier's point of view, so I'll be posting them for all to read.
Take care Will