Hello All,
I have to quote Hunter S. Thompson twice in this message in that there is a tremendous amount of Fear and Loathing here at Camp Patriot, and let me tell you all about it. I think that it’s best to begin with the history of the loathing, and the root of the fear.
The root of our problems is our Battalion. I won’t mention the name of it, but it is a reserve Battalion from Arkansas, and I’ve worked with them before. At last year’s Annual Training (see Summer Camp) we were attached to these not-so-loveable retards and we learned a great deal about leadership from them. That is if you count No-Leadership whatsoever as something that can be learned from, and I surely do. I don’t remember much from the trip because I was whacked out on pain killers due to an unfortunate civilian car vs. Humvee close encounter which I won’t go into here (trust me, that’s another story about another retard). What I do remember is a bit hazy, but I do recall a sunny morning filled with gunfire (blanks for training mind you) and OPFOR (Opposing Force, see Army Bad-Guys for training) and a great deal of cursing. It wasn’t a pitched battle by any terms, just sappers testing our perimeter security causing a ruckus and waking me from my drug induced coma (hence the cursing from me as I realized that my back was killing me and I didn’t have any ammo or means to join in the fray).
This is where the loathing begins as our Battalion called up on the radio and asked just what the hell we were doing. When our Operations NCO replied that we were being probed (and not in a good way) by the enemy and that a SALUTE report (Size, Activity, Location, Uniform, Time & Equipment) would be along in a minute or two. Our Battalion responded that they didn’t need a SALUTE report because they “don’t play OPFOR/combat games.”
“Well, I hope the enemy understands that when you go to war, Sir.”
So do I. Here we are, and guess what, we’re preparing for a trip north into the badlands of Iraq. I think that our Battalion is beginning to rethink their training priorities right about now. But that is the history, let me bring you up to speed on the present loathing.
I am referring to our Battalion Commander, the BC, also known as the invisible man. I have met him, so I know that he is real, but none of my troopers have. I did a quick survey of the company, and less than 15 people (14 actually) could recognize him without his nametag. To my knowledge, he has come to see us once in the 5 months we’ve been here at Camp Patriot. It ’s understandable considering that it’s an hour drive from his camp to ours, and the Mitsubishi Pajero’s air conditioning was out for a WHOLE week! Oh, didn’t I mention that there are more SUV’s being driven around Kuwait than at a mall parking lot (thanks for the Taxes!), but not by us Non-Battalion pukes that get to enjoy the heat and sand of Kuwait in a Humvee.
The lack of attention from the BC is a minor issue, considering that he has two whole companies in his command and he’s SO busy working on getting us a job in Baghdad (job shopping is huge around here, apparently nobody wants to go home?). Oh, yeah, he needs a year of command time to get his ticket punched. What ticket, you might ask? His career ticket of course. Just because he’s a Reserve Colonel (Full Colonel, just got his eagles and one step away from a Star) doesn’t preclude him from needing combat leadership time to make his next promotion. Now stop me if I go into a rant, but ticket-punching pricks like this have driven my quest to become an officer. I swear to myself and anyone else that will listen that I will NEVER put my own power-lust career ambitions over the safety/needs of my soldiers, even if it costs me my next promotion. I don’t care much about how far I go, just as long as I can make a difference in the lives of the soldiers I lead. And if that means stepping on a couple limp dicks toes, so be it. I can retire as a Second Lieutenant and be proud that my soldiers are better for having me around. I won’t disregard training and I won’t be afraid to call bullshit when I see it. But that could just be the ranting of an angry man full of loathing.
The good news is that the Battalion's Command Post, CP, burned down the other night. The cause of the fire is still unknown, but it did destroy 38 M-16 rifles, 2 M-9 pistols, all their Night Vision Goggles and thousands (perhaps into the Hundreds of Thousands) of dollars in communications and personal equipment. This information put a definite smile on my face as I learned that no one was hurt.
I need to tell you about the Fear. The fear is gripping when you consider that my chain of command couldn’t protect it’s own tent in a rear area from ‘accidental’ fire. Consider their training, attention to their soldiers and a self-serving focus that doesn’t have time for the soldiers under their command, and you can begin to see my point. These guys are supposed to be leading us on our little trip! But wait, there’s more…
In my last installment I told you all about the three formal orders. Well, we’ve finally received an OPORD from Battalion and it is quite a sight to see. I am in no way perfect. I make mistakes and I’ll admit to them freely. I hope that whoever wrote that OPORD can do the same. It is a jumbled mass of disorganized words trying to convey minimal information in the most hideous manner. If I presented an OPORD like this in training, I would probably get my ass chewed and a general beat down from all my peers.
You all know that my grammar is far from perfect but this is absurd, especially when you consider that the BC probably has a masters degree in something (If you want rank in the officer corps, you’ve got to have higher education). An example, I was going to do that, but someone has taken it out of my unit’s CP, and I don’t have access to it right now. I suspect that the powers that be heard about my little rant towards their superiors, and decided to try and defuse the situation, but then again, I could just be a little paranoid. Trust me, if I get a copy, you will get quotes (unclassified, of course).
Hunter S. Thompson said it was said by someone else, but he couldn’t remember who, but nevertheless it’s true, when the going gets weird, the weird go pro. Absolutely man, absolutely.
I love you all,
Will
PS – Jake is doing well, over 3 pounds now and growing like a weed. Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support. I love that kid and I’ve never met him. I can’t wait to get home, and tell him to join the Air Force.
You sound like an excellant officer. Keep yourself and your men safe.
Posted by: scroff on September 5, 2003 11:21 PMWhen I grow up, I don't wanna be like Mike. I wanna be like Will. :-P
...meanwhile, I wait to see if I'm approved for Officer College...
My thoughts are with you and Jake.
ECG
Posted by: A girl in Oz on September 5, 2003 11:30 PMWill? Does merely shaking my head convey what I'm thinking without writing a whole novel?
I've been wondering something though: when you commence ranting, either in person, in private, or here, do any veins pop out of you? Do your eyes narrow? Do you mumble for extended periods? Do you walk around shaking your head, growling, sighing, or curse like a .....he he he...sailor?
I was just curious. It's that catlike behavior of mine I guess! I bet you roll your eyes alot, don't you?! Man, I'd sure like to see you ranting in person. LOL Well, not at ME though! *grins* The reason I say this is that when I get stupified with the innane moronically inclined, I do quite a number of those things. I'm also told it's quite a sight to see....amusing even....to those getting a peep at it. (but not it being directed at them, that is) I just thought that if you exhibit any of those traits, or any combination of them, I'd sure like to see it in person! I'd be on your team anyday, sir!
Hugs, Prayers, Thoughts and Godspeed to you and your soldiers....
Judi
Posted by: Judi on September 6, 2003 01:04 AMWill, WTFGON?
Your BC is suffering from Anal Cranial Loopback. Unless the ability to commit a physically impossible act on oneself is a part of what is required of him to get his "ticket punched" then I recommend he pull it out and put it to good use!
Even tho' this type of sh1t from your higher ups brings out some of your finest and funniest writing, I do not like to see you or your soldiers safety or mission compromised.
Hold 'em accountable Will. The best soldier's question orders imho.
Putting one's career on the line comes second to letting another person's incompetence put your's and other people's lives on the line.
"Fight 'fire' w/ fire - so to speak - cough, cough
These two rules of combat apply:
Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
Everything always works in your HQ,
everything always fails/burns in the Colonel's HQ.
Just for sh1ts n giggles go up to the burn tent and say real loud "What can of Fu*k exploded here!?"
Thanks for the laughs, I'll go back to wearing out the rosary beads and working on replacing you all with and Intl coalition now.
Oh! And anyone waiting to buy the troops a beer can go to
WWW.OPERATIONSENDBEER.COM
"U.ncle S.am A.int R.eleased M.e Y.et"
Sounds like a SNAFU to me!
Posted by: Virgil on September 6, 2003 06:38 AMDear Gen Shisenski (Will) sounds like the higher ups are going thru Menopause or spraying their surroundings for complete control until their next promotion at no cost (bush, cheney, rumsfeld wanna be's). Thank you for taking pride in your unit , May Our Lord continue to Bless and Watch Over All and I Pray for All Service Men and Ladies to Come Home Safe.
Bless You and All (including My Son, he was suppose to be back around Oct., but I guess the wannawallas wannebees have a different plan - God, I certainly hope it's alot better than the plan they never had; although, they {a.ka. - idiots) swear they did.
Good nite Will , Take Care!
p.s. Hear All the next person to succeed Gen Shisenki (Will) is Mr. Jake. Take Care Bless You and the little Mister.
I agree with Virgil. I see that your BC is probably going beyond even that, from TARFU to FUBAR. Absolutely pathetic that some military officers put their ambitions ahead of their men and women. I hope and pray that someone very high up sees what this ticket puncher is doing and put a stop to it.
Hey, Judi, nothing wrong with cussing like a sailor. I do it alot! ;) We sailors gotta keep that reputation thing going after all.
I will, of course, keep worrying, and also keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. I'll keep Jake in my thoughts and prayers also. He's obviously a little fighter. Think of all the stories you'll be able to tell him as he grows up.
Will, please hang in there and stay safe. Many people are pulling for you guys.
Oh yeah, I feel much more comfortable about you heading the direction that shall not be named (not). Watch your backside sweetie. At least I have confidence in you and your unit and know that if it comes time to kick somebody's ass to get something done right, you are the man to do it. That lends a little reassurance to the situation. Keep us in the loop.
p.s. Huskers are 2-0 now. Big game next weekend against Penn St.
Posted by: Shell on September 6, 2003 08:48 PMAs a mustang who topped out as an O3 for the same reasons, I heartily agree. Your troops come first I've always felt that the primary failing of the military is that is just another large HUMAN organization. You get a million people in a group, there are a certain percentage of them that are essentially worthless. On the brighter side, the Navy seemed to have a somewhat better handle on weeding out the idiots than most of the civilian organizations if have been associated with. Good Luck in spite of the Invisible BC.
Bill Powell, LT USN (Ret.)
Will,
My husband is on an OPFOR Team that usually goes to Arkansas for their AT. He is always talking about the insane idiots that they have to "train." One of their biggest complaints is that they are trying to make this unit combat ready, but the units officers don't want to let any training actually happen. Wonder if it's the same unit? From your description, I would guess the answer is yes.
As for the cursing like a soldier, I grew up next to Ft. Hood, and a lot of my friends were tankers and infantry (my husband is an infantry soldier), so I know a thing or two about creative cursing. And while I have no doubt that sailors can curse well, it's my personal opinion that nobody curses like infantry soldiers.
Glad to hear the good news about your nephew. It's always amazing how determined little ones can be.
Stay safe in spite of idiots, and try to keep your sanity! :)
Posted by: Laurissa on September 7, 2003 06:45 PMHey Will! Just wanted to write a quick note to let you know that we are all still thinking of and praying for you all! Please stay safe and try to keep the faith that before you know it, this will all just be a memory and you will be the BC (although, I don't imagine you would be an invisible one!) We are so proud of you all and thinking of you constantly!!!
So happy to hear about the little guy....sounds like he's going to take after his Uncle Will!!!!
Much love and prayers to you all...
Posted by: Sharon on September 8, 2003 10:52 AMWill,
Keep the eyes in the back of your head open and alert. If something can happen to the CP behind the line, then the upper ranking officals are not watching out for those infront of them. Tell your family hello and that we are thinking of them as well as you. B safe and return home soon for a beer at your dad and my dad's favorite hang out in NW Iowa.
JON
Posted by: jon & Dulcie on September 8, 2003 03:24 PMIt's so funny Will - I read your ranting and raving and then my man at home is ranting and raving about the same BS (Army stuff that is) Several CA's were told they had one week before they deployed so they had better get their shit in order. People quit jobs, sent kids to another state to live with the ex, stored furniture, hired nannys, etc. etc. The day before they were to leave - the Army says - well let me think this one again. Nope you stay here - we want to give the guys over there a full year. Just go back to your empty apts. (oh its no longer yours) well you get the drift. Of course no one was jumping ropes to get over there but one week notice had completely turned their lives around because the Army said so ... then to have the other shoe drop and say - we don't know when you will go - but be ready. Might be 2 months 4 month or so. Hope you can find an apt with a short lease.
So Will - your not the only guys getting dicked around by these War Masters that have absolutely NO CLUE about anyone except themselves and retiring with a star or 2.
However in the meantime - I've got lots more "honey-do's" for him to finish before he goes in theatre!
Posted by: Ira on September 9, 2003 08:46 PMWill,
Glad to hear Jake is doing well.
Sounds like you'll make a great officer.
We're still praying for the safe and quick return of you and all the troops.
Stay safe.
Anthony
Posted by: Anthony on September 10, 2003 12:34 AMIt's hard to believe it's been two years.
Will, thank you (and all there with you) for your service to this amazing country. All those lives lost on 9/11 are not in vain due to your service.
Jake has a terrific role model to look up to!
Posted by: Kathy on September 11, 2003 09:57 AMHi Will,
Today is September 11 and I can't thank
you and all of the other brave men and women of our military enough for all of your hard work and sacrafices you have made for our great country! You are awesome!
Thanks for protecting the United States of America! You didn't HAVE to do this job but you did and I thank you for it! You are making this a safer country for us and our children to live in. I know it's a sacrafice that you are staying there longer, but maybe there won't be a next time and my son or your nephew Jake wont have to go back. Many blessings to you, the other military members past and present, and to your families who are also making a sacrafice! My love and continued support goes out to you all! Will, thank you so much for writing and sharing your experiences with us for all of these months.
You are a true hero and a blessing!
God bless you!
Lori~Phoenix,AZ
Will is a pretty good writer and this is the collection of his writings. It'll be interesting to hear updates from a soldier's point of view, so I'll be posting them for all to read.
Take care Will