Hello All,

Well, it seems that Mr. Sun's out of ammo and the General has returned with a vengeance, 8 Degrees and 20 mph winds (suntan lotion anyone?). With this situation, I think it's time to let you all know what our snivel gear (see EXTREME COLD WEATHER) consists of.

Let me begin with a note on uniformity. The Army is HUGE on uniformity. Everyone and everything needs to be dress right dress (exactly the same for you lucky, and warm, civilians). Each soldiers uniform needs to look the same as every other soldier. Rank in the same place, beret (see PASTRY HAT) worn the same, etc. If you're not uniformed, you are WRONG. And if you're in the wrong uniform, and everybody is uniformed, you are RIGHT (if you're confused by this, you're probably not alone).

That being said, let me begin on the snivel gear. We were all issued a cold weather parka, liner, brown scarf, mittens with the extra special trigger finger option and Mickey Mouse boots. Now, the cold weather parkas we received (1 each) came in both OD (olive drab, especially fashionable in the
winter) and woodland camouflage (also great in the snow). They are longer than our field jackets, and in true Army fashion, at least one size too big for each soldier (normally I wear a size medium in the Army world, I was issued an LARGE) so it hangs down to around my knees (I feel SO sexy, I touch myself). It worked fairly well, with the liner inserted, but I looked like the little kid in the movie, A Christmas Story. The scarf is a wonder. It's hollow and you can take one end, roll it back and use it as a hat/scarf under your helmet (helmets are only warm when you don't want them to be, i.e. Summer. In the winter, they're as cold as a well-diggers ass) and wrap it around your mouth and nose so you're not breathing cold air all the time. The only problem is when our Hero gets a runny nose, and it runs into the scarf around his face, and a booger-sickle forms on the scarf (gross, but would any of you come up with the booger-sickle idea?). The mittens with the trigger finger rocked, especially on the range. It didn't effect my trigger squeeze, rhythm or shot placement (of course I am a good shot, I like rifles, always have, always will). But the coolest thing we were issued were the Mickey Mouse (M&M) boots. In case you don't remember, Mickey Mouse had HUGE white feet. Well, these boots are huge (and also issued a size too big, surprised? I wasn't) and made of rubber. All the way around. They are SO warm, that my feet were sweating all day long, and I had to change out my socks (see STINKY) daily. The only time they failed me, was on the range, at night, when the temperature dropped to below zero, and my socks were drenched with sweat (see TRENCHFOOT). But as soon as I changed out my socks and dried out the inside of my M&M boots, everything was groovy. My only complaint was walking/running/any general movement in my M&M boots. They are about 4 pounds apiece, and already bigger than the regular combat boot (I got a good workout walking up and down the range). If you can't picture what I look like in all this gear, please be patient. I'll try to get some pictures before I leave this wonderful Iceberg.

Still no information that I can give you on the details of my pending mission, sorry. Normally I'm blabby (and I think you ALL know that), but this one I'm gonna sit on, for a while.

I need to get moving, I'm teaching a class this afternoon and need to walk through it one more time.

Love,

Will