Hello All,

It's another cold and cloudy day here in Ft. Mc Coy, and things are progressing. The good news is that with all of our equipment gone (see RAILHEAD, that wonderful 48 hours of stress, cigarettes and foul language). Oh, and on a side note, I have received a bit of constructive criticism on my language. I may, on occasion spice things up with a fuck, shit piss or cocksucker, but please don't let this offend. Soldiers, generally use profanity as a tool, either to feel manly and tough (for the younger
soldiers) and as a tool to let those that have sinned (see Fucked-Up) know that we have seen them do it. However, I will try to keep things to a manageable tone.

This week is one of a Canine-Equestrian Extravaganza (see Dog and Pony Show). As I said, all our equipment is gone, however, we still need to train for our missions. Without equipment, this process involves 2 soldiers standing shoulder-to-shoulder, outside (see Oh-My-God COLD or General Winter), simulating (see PRETENDING) that they are in a Humvee. Of course there are other soldiers simulating other vehicles, and we walk around like we're on a mission (simulated, of course). Now if this sounds exciting (and if it doesn't, you're probably smarter that the average Lt. Colonel)wait to hear what happens next. We go in from the simulated exercise, talk about what went right, wrong and just plain stupid, and then do it all over again. Yep. Again. Yippee. Now, I'm a veteran and I understand the purpose of training (believe me, by the time we get to where we're going, it will be WAY too late for training), but this is more like busy work. There have been some good things from it (besides frostbite), the younger soldiers are beginning to take this deployment a bit more seriously (about friggin time! I swear, I buy them books and all they do is chew on the covers!). But, for the most part, we're just killing time.

Now, I'll bet that you're curious about the "Good Game" portion of this message. Well, soldiers are a different kind of animal. Male or female, we're all just a little off (not crazy, because nobody would let someone mentally deficient into the Army, OH NO!). And when you take people like these, add a stressful situation (War has not been declared, but I think we all know what's about to happen) and they are going to look for a release. That's where the "Good Game" comes in. After ANY sporting event (in the US that is) all the athletes line up to shake hands, slap each other on the butt and say, "Good Game." Well, it picked up here, and wouldn't you know it, EVERYBODY is slapping EVERYBODY on the ass and saying, "Good Game." To the outsider, looking in, I admit that it may appear odd. All these testosterone charged soldiers walking around and slapping each others butts (I kind of like it when the females slap mine, or, even better, another females!!!!). But, it kind of makes sense. I know of no gay soldiers in my unit (and I really don't care, but that's something else entirely), but this "Good Game" thing has taken on a life of it's own. People are actually going out of their way to slap the asses of members of the same sex. I see no sexual intent, and have none for myself (outside of the females, of course) but some people are actual targets for this. Example, Our Hero (Yours Truly) has established a
rule: NO SQUEEZING OR PINCHING OF THE BUTTOCKS (unless by a female, of course). For any soldier that violates this rule, I IMMEDIATLY swat them on their crotches. I don't grab, and I don't hit, but immediate retribution is paid. Unfair you might ask? Over the top you might say? Yes, on both cases. But I don't like the squeeze/pinch, and they don't like getting racked. Corrective action taken, and improper technique is corrected (a little George Patton, if you will). A bit homophobic? Maybe, but I really just don't like Men squeezing or pinching by ass.

Oh, and someone has dedicated a website to these emails. You can find it at http://rooba.net/will/ The creators are friends of Captain Rooba, and you can locate him at www.rooba.net. The Captain and I have been friends for a while now, and I can't wait to drink Guinness with him again.

Well, I'd better get going, somebody's looking at my butt, and I don't think that this one's going to be simulated.

Love,

Will