ED: Dated April 20th and finally found an email connection.

Hello All,

Greetings from the front of rear. Things have been moving along at the usual rate here (see Snail) and let me tell you all about it. We are waiting on one last Connex (see Large Metal Box full of stuff) of equipment that is allegedly somewhere in Kuwait. I say that it is alleged to be here because no one has been able to find it. This Connex is all that remains of our equipment from The States, and after we find it, we should be ready for our mission, whatever that might be.

I'd like to take a minute and talk about Mr. Murphy. I mentioned Mr. Murphy in my last message home, and I'd like to elaborate a bit more on his tactics. I believe that everyone in the world knows Mr. Murphy in some fashion or the other, but to truly 'appreciate' his work, one must be in the service of one’s country. The law that dominates this 'appreciation' most is this: "The equipment that you are using was purchased from the lowest bidder," (at least for this tirade). This is true for most general purpose items you can find in the Army, such as tires, boots, uniforms and tents. Lets talk about tents.

Originally, the entire platoon (including females) lived in one large tent (provided by someone other that us, don’t know who), and slept on a wooden floor (we don’'t complain, at least we have a floor). The Marines up the hill had a cow that there were females sleeping in the same tent as males (this isn't that big of a deal considering that we are all adults and can act like grown-ups when we have to. Besides, my philosophy is that if you haven’t seen one by now, get a GOOD look and get on with your life.) After arguing that it was easier to run a platoon with everyone in the same tent (see sharing information and keeping track of weapons, ammo, masks, etc.) the Marines made all the females move into their own tent. Ok, a pain in the ass, but at least we expected it, Marines are SO behind on the equal rights movement. And as our equipment came in, we decided that the squad leaders (see Old Men, women aren't allowed ANY cohabitation here, DAMN!) and above would move out of the big tent and into our own tent, away from the kids.

Now, let's first talk about rain. It is a commonly know fact that rain is scarce in the desert, and that Kuwait is composed almost entirely of desert (except for the parts with roads, and then the desert tries to take them back by drifting over). Tomorrow (as of the date I'm typing this message) will mark my 4th week here in Sunny, Sandy and really friggin' hot Kuwait, and it has rained here 3 times. The first time was our 2nd day in country and quite a shock to everyone really. It wasn't just a quick March shower that wets the pavement and is gone 30 minutes later. Oh, no. Uh-uh. This was a nice, steady rain that left me thinking that Omaha (see Home) hadn't had that much rain all last year (see drought). The next set of showers came the first night we set up the tent that I currently call home (a serious lie, but these are the things I have to tell myself to get out of my cot in the mornings). This is Mr. Murphy's cue to enter; stage right (thought I forgot about that one didn't you?)

Mr. Murphy decided to show up with bad seams in my tent. I didn't say a bad seam, I said bad SEAMS. All of them, and I was the lucky winner sleeping under the middle the middle of the tent, with two (not just one) seams that leaked like sieves. Now, I have stated that the nights here really aren't that cold, considering that I came here from Wisconsin in February. I didn't mention that water does help cool things down quite a bit. I have no one to blame for this but myself, for I knew that this tent was in bad condition when I put it up, and I knew that rain was a real, however unlikely, possibility. These two things were floating thru my head as I sat wearing only a poncho (EVERYTHING else was soaked) and my birthday suit. Another real item flashed into my head, as I sat there shivering myself warm…. General Winter has found a way to strike in the desert. The Bastard.

Love,
Will

PS – the third rain was last night, but this time I was ready, and already had my poncho out and covering my gear. HA! Fuck General Winter! I wonder what Murphy will pull next.