Hello All,
This is just a quick message, not because I'm short on time, just that I'm short on material. Don't worry, stupid things are happening daily, it's just that some of them are too dumb to post (trust me, I don't want to bore you). One bunch of Marines is moving out and another one is moving in. Hopefully this batch will be a little better than the last, especially when it comes to unexpended ordinance (see Grenades!).
There are loads of rumors still flying, but none that has caught my ear lately. I'm a bit concerned about the lack of actual news from my chain of command, but I guess no news is good news (see Pray!). My anxiety lies in the history of this deployment. My company has been given VERY steep deadlines to meet (see Pervious Rants about Railhead and the Plane), and while we always meet them, we end up jumping through our collective asses to get the job done. We are trying to be smart about this, and cleaning as much of our gear as possible right here in the port, but I fear that this will be another vain attempt to stay one step ahead of the power curve. Oh, and the sand storm that has been dumping dust and sand on our heads for the past two days isn't helping too much either. Yes, the weather is just as nice here as it was in the middle of the desert, except that the tent doesn't leak and we haven’t had near as much rain (yep, no more shivering in my birthday suit and cursing General Winter).
Oh, and for the very helpful reader that pointed out that my little stash of booze is a UCMJ (Uniformed Code of Military Justice, i.e. military law) violation, I do appreciate the pointer, and as I didn't think too much of the bottle before, I decided that it would probably be best if I disposed of it. Of course you're thinking that I drank it, well normally you would be right, but not this time. You see, my tolerance for alcohol has dropped a bit, and trying to kill that bottle might just kill me (and Mom would be so pissed about that one, she might try to come after me to kick my butt). So I decided the next best thing would be to make some cash on the whole deal, and sold the remaining scotch to a Marine. For 50 bucks. Half of a 10 dollar bottle. Sucker. I have lost a little respect for Marines on this trip, but I do love how some people are just plain gullible. Now I can buy some more Cuban Cigars.
Another reader was concerned with sand getting stuck where the sun doesn't shine. This isn't too big of a problem because I wear a belt pulled tight, and avoid Plummer Butt as much as possible (see Pants sliding down and butt crack showing, arrhh, I just got the mental image and I can't poke out my minds eye!!!!).
For everyone that asked if I'd see their family/friends/husbands ect. in the Marines passing thru, I'm sorry but I haven't been able to locate anyone. There are thousands of Marines passing thru this camp, and it's next to impossible for me to look for them all. I wish you all luck and that you are reunited with your loved ones as soon as possible.
I love you all,
Will
Hahahahahaha.....
Er, I know I mentioned sun not shining someplace, and the possibility of sand beoming ..... er, .... ingrained (Ooops! I 'punned'! *grins*) in such places! Whew! You've releived my mind about that...thanks Will! (Plumber's Butt....Arrrggghhh! Thanks for the reminded visual...NOT) I know all about tight belts (See DUTY BELTS CAN PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN IN TWO SECONDS FLAT)
Also glad you took the hint about not wishing to be you if your stash was discovered....that could be quite a bit messier than the worst hangover, eh? *rolls eyes* Guillible Marines, eh? Hahahaha
Oh...and btw Will...you couldn't bore me even with mundane, innane rants....you have a talent of making even the most trivial stuff hysterical!
Hmmm...guess I might be considered a die-hard 'fan' of yours...I even respond to what you would consider one of your less than rib-splitting entries. *grins* (How about that jaunt to visit my son & I, NOW?)
One more thing: it is now in the high 90's here in Arizona, edging towards the triple digits VERY soon! Another Arrrgggghhhh for that.
Get your non-plumber's butt home soon, Will! God bless, and Godspeed.
Judi
Posted by: Judi Eckes on May 17, 2003 07:47 PMHi Will,
Glad to hear from you again, even if only briefly. I saw an article on one of the Navy E-mail newsletters about the importance of what you guys are doing with washing those vehicles. Believe it or not, it is saving the military over $100,000! I smiled when I read that, and thought about you. Hopefully you'll hear some news soon about when you may be coming home. Glad you were able to get $50 from someone on the booze you had to get rid of. Silly Marines :) I'll try to send some nice Wisconsin weather to you... sunny and temps in the low 70's. Hang in there and stay safe. My thoughts and prayers are with you as always. I'll have a beer for you tonight.
Will,
I didn't think the sand would be too big of a problem for you, more of a miniscule, shifting problem that just rubs you the wrong way.
Did you have to paint the mental picture of plumber's butt? (Anyone have a mental eraser, white out, sledgehammer?! )Stephen King could write an entire series on those things - starting with "Chuckie ..... the Plumber"
Hey, Will, stay safe - would really suck if you got blown up in the latrine from one of those "oops, fell in the pocket ordinances" that a Marine then accidentally dropped in the toilet. But, hey, bet they would award you a purple ..... never mind.
Posted by: L.V. on May 17, 2003 09:31 PMHey, Will``nice to hear from you again. I haven't got much time so I'll be brief.
Take care and God Bless. Hope you can come home soon. We'll keep a light on for you.
Will keep an eye out for your next posting. As always, prayers are being sent in your honor. Be good.~~Kris
Dear Will,
I've read your interesting comments. You are a really neat soldier! You are very descriptive, should be an English teacher, author, maybe journalist, someday.
However, I wonder if you have come across my son, Pv2 Cross there in Kuwait. He has been there for almost 6 weeks and we have not heard from him except a satellite phone call last week wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I wasn't here but got his voicemail. He says he has "good news" but wouldn't divulge. I wonder if it means he might be coming back soon. Have you heard anything like that?
Well, may God bless you and thank you for serving our country and fighting for our freedoms. I honor you and salute you!
Susan
Handsome Will,
Went fishing today. You oughter get yer ass back here fore all the good ones are caught. Saved ya a beer & a shot. If ya can't be a plumber, you can be a boiler maker.
Big Kiss, Big Hug! (I still smoke so you don't smell all that bad =P
Szaffie
Posted by: SzaffireBlue on May 19, 2003 01:25 AMWill - you ROCK! Good luck, stay safe, and come home soon!
Posted by: bonzo on May 19, 2003 07:18 AMYour great, you really make my day! As for sand where the sun doesn't shine. We here on the home front are glad to hear that the boys are doing fine! haha Hope you are home soon. Renae, Hous texas
Posted by: NAENAE on May 19, 2003 10:53 AMGood to hear you are doing well. Now that you have this nice little site, i can find a million excuses to avoid work. Checking up on our solider:)
Can't wait to hear about your next adventure. (good idea about the belt Will)
April
Will -
Don't care what you write - just WRITE! Always a good day when I see a post.
Also, will have replacement bottle(s) waiting for you when you get back. Glad to know you are going to be a cheap drunk for awhile when you get home.
Miss you.
Posted by: Shell on May 19, 2003 12:27 PMWe have sand in our butts too in Texas! And its 100 degrees with full humidity, but it's all good!! Sounds like we all like your stories so keep it up!
Posted by: Karen on May 19, 2003 12:41 PMHey Will I enjoy all of your exploits that you tell us about. You have eased a lot of minds. My grandson is in the 3rd Armored Calvary. His mother & I get a kick out of you. You are the greatest in our eyes. Thank you so very much, God Bless & take care.
Posted by: Alice on May 19, 2003 03:51 PMHi guy,
nice to hear again another puff of your life at the camp.
Write to us soon and keep strong!
Love, Ilenia
Posted by: Ilenia on May 20, 2003 04:48 AMYou know, I think Shell hit the nail on the head. We don't really care if you post a few words about how your butt is full of sand or the ENTIRE details of ordinance lost down the crapper! We just LOVE to hear anything and everything.
Ryan from Canada eh?
Posted by: Ryan on May 20, 2003 05:56 PMWhat is it that you said you did when you're not washing cars? (See real world)
Posted by: T on May 21, 2003 08:45 PMHello Will.
Have you heard any promising news of you going home yet? Or, you must be very good at washing cars. =)
I am not trying to reply your message every time but I was wondering something.
Do you have a key board cover in your PC? That will keep the sand off from your PC. If you would like one, just let me know your PC model etc., I will send you one but you could be home already by the time you received it!!
Take Care
Posted by: N on May 21, 2003 10:41 PMWill,
Your a funny man! Never lose your sense of humor. And I am happy to learn you quit smoking! :)
Keep writing so we can keep reading! Hope you come home soon!
Sincerely,
~Stacey in Boston
Well Will, I can't think of anything to original to say, attributed to a head cold (achoo!).
But here's a quote I stumbled across that I thought you might find amusing...
"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's
Hope you hear good rumors soon... or just some juicy ones...
Take care.
Will
All kidding aside - Thanks for your willingness to stand up to be counted when it counts. It takes a special kind of person.
Be safe
Posted by: L.V. on May 23, 2003 10:43 PM
Will is a pretty good writer and this is the collection of his writings. It'll be interesting to hear updates from a soldier's point of view, so I'll be posting them for all to read.
Take care Will