Hello All,
You know, I've been wearing a uniform for 13 years now, and I've always
wondered about the job of a Sergeant Major. Of course I've seen many of
them in my time, and they always seemed like good soldiers. My impression
of Sergeants Major (I know, why isn't the plural Sergeant Majors? I don't
know, but this is how the Army does it) has always been: grounded, honest,
professional soldiers interested in the welfare of soldiers. But I have
always wondered what their mission in the Army was.
Of course, I was in the Reserves for most of my time, and so I only met
Reserve Sergeants Major (outside of Basic Training and the Army Chemical
School, that is). However, I now find myself in the Regular Army (is there
an Irregular Army, or is that the Reserves? I dunno) and there are more
Sergeants Major around here than I ever thought possible. There is even a
Command Sergeant Major, and that is something that you don't see too often.
Now, from my enhanced perspective (see Active Duty), I've been able to pick
up on some interesting traits of a Sergeant Major, and that's what I'd like
to talk about today. These traits are not only incorporated by Sergeants
Major (I'll just call them the SMAJ, pronounced "s-madge" from now on, it's
way easier and it'll keep this rant under 4 pages, hopefully), but also by
aspiring SMAJ's and everywhere.
One thing that I've noticed about the SMAJ's is that they have a tendency to
correct everyone. This is not a new thing; in the Army we call it 'On the
Spot Corrections.' Simply put, it's where ANY soldier can point out a
deficiency in another's uniform, and asks them to fix it. An example would
be if I left one of my pockets unbuttoned (the Army is HUGE on pockets.
There are ten, yep 10, on our uniforms, 8 of them with buttons) a private
could walk up to me and ask me to button my pockets without fear of
retribution. Now, here at Camp Patriot, I have seen this done many times,
but with a new twist thanks to a SMAJ. According to Army Regulation (or AR)
670-1 (or Wear and Appearance of the Army Uniforms), a commanding officer
may add to a uniform according to the local climate. Our commander
authorized us to wear baseball caps with the unit name or PT (or Physical
Training uniform, see shorts and a t-shirt) when we were off duty. Well, a
SMAJ jumped all over a couple of our soldiers, and when they tried to defend
themselves, quoting the AR, he simply said (see Yelled), "I don't care."
It's important to note that this SMAJ is NOT in our chain of command, and
has no direct influence on our lives. He was well within the guidelines of
"On the Spot Corrections," until he disregarded the AR 670-1
Now, those of you with experience in the service understand that a SMAJ is a
great and powerful creature. He IS the top of the enlisted food chain, and
while officers outrank him, you can be assured that he has the ear of a
Colonel or General. This means that while he can get chewed out by a lowly
Lieutenant, he knows that the proper words will have that Lieutenant being
chewed on by a Colonel or General. While most Sergeants Major earned their
rank with their blood serving their country, there are some who are pure
bureaucrats. Can you guess which type I'm talking about now? I thought so.
But I digress from the point of this story. When the SMAJ said, "I don't
care," he made a very big mistake. In the Army we live and die by
regulations. There are regulations for everything, for that is the law of
the soldier. By saying, "I don't care," the SMAJ told us that he was above
the regulations that govern us, and that the law of the Army was nothing
compared to his will. Well, in the Reserves (Irregular doesn't sound right)
we also have grounded, honest professional soldiers, who take great pride in
what they do. One of these is my First Sergeant that decided that someone
needed to defend the regulations and our baseball caps (they really are
pretty cool, and we bought them with the profits going to the company morale
fund, so everybody wins on this one).
Our First Sergeant pulled out the regulation that states, "Commanders may
authorize the wear of commercial running shoes… and other items appropriate
to the weather conditions and type of activity," and went looking for the
SMAJ in question. Upon finding the SMAJ, he found another of our young
troopers getting chewed on for wearing his cap. This didn't faze the First
Sergeant a bit; he walked right up, opened the AR, adjusted his cap, and
showed the Sergeant Major the regulation. "I don't care, and you should
take that caps off, First Sergeant."
"But Sergeant Major, the reg says…"
"I said I don't care. I'm a Sergeant Major and I can do anything I want.
Now, you need to remove that hat and square away your soldiers."
"Is that an order, Sergeant Major," the Top (anther name for the First
Sergeant) replied.
"Do I have to make it an order?" The SMAJ was beginning to loose his cool.
Before you blow things up in the Army, you yell, "Fire in the Hole!" It's a
safety precaution to warn everyone around that shit is about to fly. I wish
that someone had yelled that before the Top said, "Yes. The only way I'm
taking this cap off is if you order me to."
"Then I order you to remove that cap, and all your soldiers' caps as well.
I don't care what the AR says, I don't like them and I don't want to see
them again."
And the Top obeyed like a good soldier, and moved on. Now, you might be
asking, where is my commander in all of this, since it was his call to
modify the uniform? Well, the First Sergeant told him of his encounter with
the SMAJ, mostly to warn him of any incoming fire from the SMAJ's Colonel.
Well, the commander decided to go up the Chain of Command, our proper Chain
of Command that is, and find out what was and what was not authorized. That
issue is still being argued, and I can only wonder how it will turn out.
All this drama from a little baseball cap. I always wondered what a
Sergeant Major does during his day, and now I know what he doesn't do. Read
the regulations. This little experience has convinced me that the
professional soldier is a truly disciplined animal. I know way too many
civilians who would put on a cap and walk into the SMAJ's office and ask how
his day was going. Just for the reaction. If you're thinking that I would
do something like that, you're wrong on that one. I would send a couple to
his family back home, and attach a little note saying, "The Sergeant Major
loved these hats so much, we thought that it would be a nice surprise if you
met him at the airport wearing them."
I love you all,
Will
PS - not all SMAJ's are like this one, but if we don't point out the flaws
of one, they may be misconstrued by the weak minded as strengths, and I just
can’t stand to let that happen.
my days in service are long ago and another branch but got a feeling that your sgt. major was one of two things or perhaps even both. a reserve troop a bit to big on his self or an admn. staff that spends most his time flying a desk and has no clue. just an opinion from an ex air force mech. from another time and another war.
Posted by: danny on June 26, 2003 03:05 PMWill,
Great to hear from you.
Glad to see that you spirits are still up.
I think that you guys should just fill the Sergeant Majors tent with all of the caps.
Jan
Posted by: Jan on June 26, 2003 04:06 PMWill,
First, I wanted to clarify the thing about Sergeants Major. I actually had to ask my NCO father about this one a long time ago. It's because Sergeant is a noun, and Major is an adjective.
Now that this particular mystery is solved, I hope your Commander is able to square away that particular SMAJ about the baseball caps. My husband is stateside, but they have really cool OPFOR caps they wear for PT. And, yes, they have been given crap about them.
Keep your spirits up,
Laurissa
Posted by: Laurissa on June 26, 2003 04:52 PM*rolling eyes, practically out of my head* Oh, sheesh!!!
Hi Will!
Talking about adjectives for a moment, do innane, retentive, anal, (OMG - LOL) ludicrous, fatheaded, power-hungry, or pathetic remind you of anyone? Hmmm? I think they do!!! Let's put Mr. SMAJ in the microwave!
*grins*
I understand about regs, and looking tidy and professional and all that crap, but protesting BASEBALL CAPS IN TRIPLE DIGIT HEAT?????? Give me a break Mr. SMAJ! (See Stick up My Ass, Jauntily)
Oh...was that disrespectful? My bad! but then, I don't HAVE to give Mr.StickupMyAssJauntily any respect...ESPECIALLY here! *grins wider* Now I don't care what Mr Stick thinks either!
Now you may or may not be chuckling right about now Will, but either way, DAMN DID THAT FEEL GOOD TO SAY!!! Some lowly ranked grunt oughta pull that high and mighty stick outta his butt for him, eh? *raising eyebrow while rolling eyes*
Hope you are able to pull him from his stuck up pedestal on this one Will..you and your men need and deserve your ballcaps. Keep up your feistiness and your soldier's spirits. Just don't bite your tongue TOO hard trying to keep quiet. I would have thought those higher on the food chain would have better things to do than this...guess not.
I do like your thought of sending some home to his family and the lovely little note that would be attached. Ingenious!
Prayers, thoughts, and hugs,
Judi
Hi Will,
Amen to what Judi says. Maybe it's a good thing that this SMAJ is a bureaucrat. Would you want to be in a foxhole with someone like that who doesn't care?! Gads! In the Navy, the highest enlisted rank is called a Master Chief Petty Officer. Most of the Master Chiefs I've met are pretty squared away, and care deeply about their troops. They are the ones who can really affect morale. They are seen as gods by the enlisted and the officers. Many a Navy junior officer's backside has been pulled out of the fire by a Master Chief.
It seems ridiculous that this SMAJ (who isn't even in your chain of command) has nothing better to do than rag on you guys about ballcaps! Ballcaps! I mean, really! I think your commander will probably tell him where he can shove his ranting. In the Navy, we take chain of command pretty seriously. If someone in one chain of command tried to rag on another, there would definitely be repercussions.
IMHO, he needs to get a life and a clue if you ask me. Sometimes the military can be so frustrating. I've been there, done that with having some overbearing person in a unit other than mine try to put their views very obnouxiously upon me, and trust me, it didn't go over well. So I have an idea of what you guys are going through in that regard.
You keep up that wonderful sense of humor, and keep listening to your guys. It'll help their morale, and yours a great deal. I'm an E-6, and it's really humbling to have those junior enlisted looking up to me. Hang in there and stay safe. Many people are thinking and praying for you all.
Posted by: Dawn on June 26, 2003 08:47 PMSeems to me that the SMAJ in question has entirely too much time on his hands. It would drive me crazy to not be able to say something to him (see court-martial?). I know for sure that I'm not fit for military life because I would not have been able to hold my tongue. You have the patience of Job, Will.
I love the idea about sending his family some hats. I'd also love to be at the airport when he shows up.
I am a firm believer in what comes around, goes around, so tell your guys not to worry. The SMAJ will get his (eventually).
Be safe!
Posted by: Theresa on June 27, 2003 06:44 AMWill
I don't see this inane power struggle any different than what happens in Corporate America every day. It's always something petty and ridiculous that heats things up and ends moving up the chain. The difference in Corporate America, there are alot more hystronics because people have no respect for anyone but ME! Plus, the situation would consume mannnnnnyyyyy hours of meetings blah, blah.....
Will, I have been reading your posts for a little over a month now. I look forward to the new ones. Keep up your good attitude and come home safe.
Posted by: Darlene on June 27, 2003 07:58 AMIs there a fund to which I can make a contribution to purchase said caps for the family? That would be too funny! good to hear from you, Will. Looks like you guys are still in threat over there, take care. If I could box up hugs, beer and cigars and get them to you guys, I would!
You must let use know what happened in this situation. I know all about rules and regs. I'm Air Force. Thanks for the entertainment.
Posted by: Angela on June 27, 2003 08:39 AMHmmm.... Yeah.... I'm gonna need you to remove that cap.
It sounds like an Office Space moment to me! The guy (SMAJ in his case should stand for slightly maladjusted anal jackass) likes to hear himself talk and like your guys is bored. Or maybe just the first part! Or maybe when he was kids, kids in baseball caps stole his lunch money!
Anyway, I hope the cork gets pulled from his ass soon!
Stay safe!
Posted by: Kathy on June 27, 2003 09:23 AMHey Will,
as a former Marine, certain things were always stressed to us.
Two of the most important:
1. Follow your Chain of Command
2. Always obey your last order (especially if it is from your chain of command)
That said, as a lowly Corporal, I know My Captain, (that's right, I said CAPTAIN) would have been chewing this SMAJ's ass about trying to order HIS men, in HIS command around, and circumventing HIS orders.
But then again, my Captain was a Hard-Core Marine who won the Silver Star and came from a Military family (Dad was an Admiral) and knew his shizznit.
Posted by: SoupNazzi on June 27, 2003 10:29 AMSorry, I have to side with the SMAJ on this one....AR670-1 does allow uniform modifications at the commander's descretion, but the Army has already issued you a soft cap, a boonie hat, and a beret (a subject for another time)....So exactly what does your baseball cap do for you that either the soft cap or boonie hat not do? Answer that question honestly (nothing), and you see why the SMAJ doesn't like your baseball caps. Yes he could have explaied his reasoning, but he doesn't have to; he's a SMAJ.
Posted by: Gerry Holt on June 27, 2003 12:32 PMKeep fighting the GOOD fight! Will. I am still listening. You are my very own Hero!
Posted by: Scarlett on June 27, 2003 08:55 PMIt would be even better if his family was persuaded to send HIM caps because "he loves them so".....
Posted by: Erin on June 27, 2003 08:59 PMAnd to think we sent you all in to liberate the Iraqi people from the whim's of a dictator.
You are wise to stay the hell out of pissing contests and power/authority struggles. Those who lose their heads over trivial matters will not have anything to put their ball cap on.
E-bay or Army surplus will pay pretty penny this ball cap, Will. Course that is perhaps another broken reg so you did not hear it from me.
Posted by: SzaffireBlue on June 28, 2003 12:40 AMGerry Holt at June 27, 2003 12:32 PM has a point, but not all that big a one. If officers allow non-reg outfitting, that's that.
Now, have you or any of your unit gotten to know other SMAJ's or maybe a Warrant Officer over beers at the EMC? Get a couple of them to have a quiet little talk with this guy... Remind him of precedent: the Army also issues weapons, but LRP's often supplement or even replace issue with thir own preferences. Even tanks have been "field modified" by their crews.
Will,
You are a wonderful writer and could give Garrison Keillor a challenge! I hope your
journal will be published. If I had a daughter, I'd tell her to check out this
"Will" guy. He's a terrific person.
But I don't. I have a son in the Reserves, now northwest of Iraq. Yuk. I don't know how to solve the problems the soldiers and the Iraqis are facing other than sending donations for generators to Iraq. The Iraqis are angry, hot people waiting for our technology and a welfare system! The "bad actors" will thrive on the discontent and discomfort of the populace. Any ideas? I'll
pester Washington with them.
I hope you'll come home soon, Will. This experience may lead you to your true calling --being a writer.
Sharon
Posted by: sharon eaton on June 28, 2003 06:27 PMYep there's one in every crowd. I've noticed the longtimers have more problems loosening up or going with the flow.
Actually I think the same situation came up in Hungary when we were training the Iraqi exiles to go in country. Imagine having nothing better to do than to assert his opinion and make everyone else follow it.
You take care Will and keep the ammo clean!
Posted by: Ira on June 28, 2003 10:39 PMI was going to say the same thing as as Laurissa about Sargeants Major. Its funny how the logic of grade 3 grammar suddenly pops up to remind you that it was actually useful that you listened in class.
Its interesting that the adjective is placed at the end of the noun, almost like an adverb. Okay. well not interesting!
Baseball caps are good to protect your face from sunburn :) and your head from bird poop! Are there any birds??
Posted by: Fuzzi on June 29, 2003 06:21 AMOK; one last time......Will, you are dead wrong and a little whinner...No#1, you are not active duty, you are and always will be a reservist so save your insistance that you are "active duty" (I know that your orders say that, but trust me you're just playing soldier). #2, Your commander does NOT have the authority to let you wear baseball caps, you have been issued headgear which does everything the baseball cap does (except look cool). #3, a SMAJ does not have to be in your chain of command to do what he did. So in conclusion (as I would have said) "Take that piece of shit off your fucking head and stow it until you are back stateside and aren't playing soldier".
Posted by: gerry holt on June 30, 2003 10:11 AMGerry, methinks thou protests too much. Perhaps you ought to take a dose of your own medication and stop "exercising your limited authority" over other people's problems.
Will, if you do need to stow your hat I recommend Gerry be made to eat your hat for not doing as the SMAJ should of done:
MYOB
CYA & Yer Noggin', and by god stay safe so you can engage yerself in petty Army squabbles.
Szaffie
Posted by: SzaffireBlue on June 30, 2003 12:45 PMWe respect other professionals who generally work part time, but in times of need consent to work full time. Why are reservists not afforded the same respect?
I agree with SzaffireBlue and nyrahs regarding Gerry. Thank goodness that the majority of active duty people appreciate having reservists like Will helping them out. Gerry needs a nice tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP! We reservists do not play active duty when we are called up. We work just as hard, and sometimes a little harder to prove to active duty types that we aren't just a bunch of weekend warrior slackers. I resent Gerry's attitude, and I'm insulted by it. It smears the many thousands who are mobilized, including three friends of mine. I and most reservists work our asses off. So Gerry, please take your attitude and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
Posted by: Dawn on June 30, 2003 09:02 PMDawn, bottom line you are still a reservist...Yes you play a valuble role and I aplogize for those comments regarding playing Army. BUT it's a fucking hat!!!! lose it and SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Is anyone seeing my point at all? There is absolutely no reason for the baseball cap besides standing out from the crowd, which is what all reservists I ever met claim they don't want to do. If you're going to play the game (and it IS just a game) play by the rules. BTW how many of you posting spent any time in uniform? I spent 20 years hating the rules, but playing by them....Will you're wrong, you know you're wrong, admit it to your supporters who on't know you're wrong....
Posted by: Gerry Holt on June 30, 2003 10:27 PMHi Will,
Guess I read this post a bit differently than Gerry did. I read about a unit following a legally issued order by their commander having that order countermanded by an NCO from another unit. At any rate, know that lots of Americans are very proud of the service you reservists provide and the sacrifices you make to serve your country because you are reservists. Hang in there - come home soon and safe.
Husker
BTW - Gerry - what rank did you hold?
Posted by: husker on July 1, 2003 08:29 AMAs a retired USAF NCO, I'm pretty sure that the SMJ in question as well as a couple other posters could all have a long tall glass of shut the F*@k up. If this SMJ doesn't like the ball caps there are ways to circumvent this. Look around for a Morale Issue with the caps in your regs I'm sure one exists. Later,
Posted by: Tom on July 1, 2003 09:02 AMKeep in mind that a lot of these blogs are for entertainment purposes and give Will a chance to blow some steam that he can't do with said SMAJ. I think we are missing the point that it's not really the hat that is the issue here (as I see it anyway), but more an illustration of what sometimes goes on within the ranks (and I note, sometimes so as to avoid lumping all SMAJ's into the idiot pile). And the same courtesy should be extended to the reservists. Just because a certain someone seems to have had a bad experience with reservists, you can't lump them all into that category. I know how hard they work and I am damn proud of them. As for that whole active duty thing, anyone gone this long is not on a vacation.
And on final note (crowd cheers), you will notice the hat is no longer being worn thus the rules are being followed - like them or not.
Hello Will,
and ciao all your soldiers,have you read the joke?We hope that you have understood, considered that our english isn't correct.We would like that you read it your soldiers for smile.We would like that you return to home soon and...we would like that have you of the beer to drink in the free night while you read our jokes without adult supervision how said George Patton.If we cuold do really...we wuold like do something for all you."PS:you are a good soldier".Day that you return to home,do you'll continue to write us?Here is another joke.A monkey ask to mother - why we are so ugly?My little consule,if you see the person that read the message!!!hahahaha.
Kiss by two nice friends Milena and Adriana
Thnking about all of you serving today. I hope you have a good 4th of July...and pray that you come home soon.
Karen in Memphis, TN
Posted by: Karen Tynes on July 4, 2003 10:20 AMI hope all is well, Will. It's been a while since we've heard from you. I hope your Independence Day was as enjoyable as it could be. We're all thinking about you and your troops!!!!!
Will
Just want to say you and your fellow soldiers are not forgotten here in the states - our prayers are with you to accomplish your mission and for your speedy, safe return.
Without you and people like you willing to risk all for what you believe in, we wouldn't have an independence day to celebrate.
The men and women of our armed forces are tightly woven into the fabric of America in a way that is strong and true - the threads that hold the stars and stripes together.
Cannot say enough - thank you for believing in America and all she stands for enough to 'fight the fight.'
Posted by: LV on July 6, 2003 12:29 AMHi Will,
to be friends,to be brothers,to love.
Where born the love born the life.
Happy 4 july!!
By Milena and Adriana
I know I'm late to the game here, but I can tell you 2 things.
The ballcaps were with PT gear only - therefore invalidating Gerry's claim about "already having 3 pieces of headgear".
This issue went up to the CG level. That's how anal-retentive the army is.
--
And Gerry, if the army is so fucking squared away, why did the 323 deploy without any desert cammies? Those poor bastards have been wearing greens until about 2-3 weeks ago. PT gear was a must for them.
While I'm at it...
The army won't let their people roll up their uniform sleeves because they might get sunburned/might get slimed in a chem attack.
Yet they won't let them wear *any* hat with their PT gear. The 323's working uniform is PT gear. When you're getting wet like they are, it's the only reasonable choice.
Posted by: Kevin on August 14, 2003 01:54 AMJust to keep things right I'm not sure what type of Sergeant Major you ran into but I can tell you soldier we are not all like that.
Sergeant Major Winston
1/75th Ranger Bn
As a SGM, one of my roles is to make corrections, but to do it fairly and listen to the troops side of the story in situations like this. I was once in a post where the post commander wanted our sleeves roled up Marine style. A full colonel who was evaluating our exercise jumped all over us and made us role them up the Army way. The Post Commander, a General, jumped all over the colonel and we all had to change them back. Not all regulations are absolute. I know that, I hope the SGM in question learns this also.
BTW: SGMs come up through the ranks in a variety of roles. Not all have been pencil pushers their entire careers. Some, like myself, have also served in this countries wars (in the combat zones). Unfortunately, the position forces us to work a desk. In my case, I'm the Chief Instructor in an MOS producing school. Given a choice, I would rather be with troops in the field. In any case, it's not easy to become an E-9. It is something you earn with hard work, discipline and achievements. It is also a position in which you can make a difference for the troops. However, listening to them is a necessary part of achieving that.
SGM L. L.
Posted by: Not so old Soldier on October 7, 2003 11:25 PMAlso as one of those rascal command sergeants major, I must echo the opinions that we are standards enforcers. The previous chief of staff of the Army at every gathering would lay his expectations that NCOs maintained traditions and enforce standards and discipline that make our Army great.
As for the commander making the decision to "authorize" ballcaps, there are many a bonehead commander making decisions that sound cool (especially to the boys) and could potentially get themselves in hot water. But by the foresight of our founding fathers the position of 1SG was adopted to serve as the enlisted voice and counsel to the commander.
In this case the 1SG believed the regulation gave him some "wiggle" room. I guess if the commander said he wanted his troops to wear tutu's or hair rollers....well theregulation doesnt forbid it, right?
The idea is that the Army has a standardized PT uniform, as mentioned in the regulation (AR 670-1). It lists the composition of the PT uniform, and even lists the items authorized to wear with it (gloves, knit cap). Know where does it list ball caps, no matter how it was purchased.
Thought his tact may be in question, his actions were not. The 1SG should have known better and advised his CO against it. And then once called on the improper wear of the uniform, he should have taken the correct action and scrapped the wearing of them without getting in the pee-pee contest wit hthe CSM.
Just my $.02, I could be wrong.
DE
Posted by: CSM DE on November 15, 2003 11:46 AMI been there, and done that. Sergants Major are the eyes and ears of the Commanders. We kept our hands on the pulse of the soldiers. We did not attain that rank by being "desk jockeys", or what ever one wishes to think.
I felt responsible for everyone one of my soldiers, and I wanted none of them to leave this live with these words "Had I the Proper Training".
A Sergeant Major enurses they had it.
Thank you, and sorry for your experience.
Posted by: Sergeant Major on November 24, 2003 07:48 PM
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Posted by: Survive101 on July 14, 2004 05:11 PM
Will is a pretty good writer and this is the collection of his writings. It'll be interesting to hear updates from a soldier's point of view, so I'll be posting them for all to read.
Take care Will