Hello Everyone,
Greetings from Iraq! I know that it’s been some time since my last post, but the worm has turned for us and let me tell you all about it.
We left Camp Patriot last week for a little camp on the border. It’s official name is Udali, but I decided that it should be named Um-Bop (the song got stuck in my head). I was only there for one full day filled with a futile attempt to re-qualify with our weapons. It was a lot like the last time we fired (if by ‘like’ you mean nothing like it at all) except that it was on a short range (25 meters) with stationary targets and over 100 degrees hotter. Oh, and the sand made things more than a little interesting. The wind wasn’t sand storm blowing, but when you’re in a prone position it’s amazing how fast that crap gets into your weapon and causes problems. My new religion (after Christianity) is weapons cleaning. We are constantly cleaning our rifles in the attempt to hold back the desert.
The day started out pretty good. I had managed to NOT be put on range safety or NCOIC (Non Commisioned Officer In Charge) and was enjoying the morning heat and blowing sand on a personal level. But the fates had other plans for my day, not to mention the piss-poor-planning from our Battalion (did I mention that they were running this goat rope) and my plans were quickly changed. An NCO was needed to run one of the ranges, and all the other NCO’s were already firing, so I was quickly volunteered (AAARRRUUUGGGHHH!). It could have been worse but there was no tower or PA system so my voice was quickly hashed out screaming against the wind. The soldiers firing didn’t all have goggles (their own fault) and had to fight to keep their eyes open against the blowing sand. The guys that actually fought this war deserve a beer just for trying to shoot in this shit.
No one was hurt, and that’s probably because no one could identify the Battalion commander. Talk about most wanted list, everybody hates that prick. We all got through it, but spirits were low from the heat, sand and frustration of trying to keep weapons functioning. I had to amend the firing procedures so that the troops would have a minute to clear sand from their weapons, but as time went on everyone was catching on to ‘sand prevention’ (Here’s a nod and a wink to an old family friend that sent me condoms for my weapon. Thanks Leah.).
By the time we headed back to Camp Um-Bop (do you have it stuck in your head
yet?) we were all a little cranky, but the thought of hot chow and a cold shower lifted spirits across the board. Oh, and the tents at Camp Um-Bop had A/C too! Sweet.
The next day the advance party (with yours truly included) was supposed to meet at 0630 to be briefed and then move to Camp Cedar 2 or Tallil Air Base. Which one? Good question, we didn’t know but we showed up at 0600 and were ready to roll at 0615. Around 0640 the OIC (Officer In Charge), a Major from Battalion (Surprise), walked out of his tent and gathered us around him. There were 6 soldiers from my company and 10 from Battalion, including 2 Majors and 3, count ‘em, 3 Captains. I haven’t seen this many officers in one spot since a General landed his helicopter at our base camp during Annual Training 2001.
I was going to tell you about the mission briefing before we headed across the Berm (Iraqi Border). I’ve told you all what a good OPORD consists of, and that’s what a convoy brief should include with the addition of maps. Should is the operative word. We got the following: “We’ll drive out the gate and take a left. Travel a couple miles and take a right, another x miles then a left for like 3 hours and then the turn is marked on the road. Any questions?” My third question was about a map for every vehicle (it’s Army regulation that every truck has a map) and the Major's response was, “We won’t need them.” That’s when I stopped talking to the Major and started talking to God. At least I know that he has answers.
Right before we crossed the Berm there was a sign that said, “Do not throw food or water to civilians or children along road.” Besides bad grammar I was confused. We were to be traveling down a 4-lane highway, who would let their kids stand beside something like that and beg? I would soon find out.
I don’t mean to leave this like a cliffhanger, but I’m almost out of time here. I’ll write the rest of the story ASAP.
I love you all,
Will
Sounds like you are working for Corporate America....no trickle down theory there either. Short term thinking without looking at the long term affect.
Stay safe and keep your head low.
Can't wait till you play Paul Harvey and tell us "the rest of the story".
Posted by: Theresa on October 8, 2003 10:51 AMHey Will! Sounds like you're having fun as per usual. Keep your chin up, keep your rifle clean. You're doing a bang up job. One question though, in a previous post, you mentioned the guy in your unit who you would most want by you if there was some poo to hit the fan. Who is this person, and can you explain why you would want him next to you?
Posted by: Ryan from Canada eh? on October 8, 2003 10:58 AMUm-bop is in my head - you bastard. Did you know they are going to play Carnagie Hall? Yeah, that's what the world is coming to.
Well, at least there's A/C - that's all I've got to say about this little mission you are on (we're on a mission from God - orange whip? orange whip?)
I'll be looking forward to the next installment.
Stay safe my friend!!!
God be with you, Will! We'll all be praying for your own (and all soldier's) safe return! Be careful out there...
Posted by: Firebrand on October 8, 2003 11:57 AMI pray you all get home safe, soon.
Posted by: Troi on October 8, 2003 12:05 PMI'm glad you have some A/C. Want you to stay safe on your nonmaped journey. Keep eye's & ears open! Can't wait to here the rest of the story! Take Care!!
Posted by: Chris on October 8, 2003 02:34 PMI can't wait to join back up with you guys. It sounds like I missed one hell of a time.
See you soon!!
Will,
Stay safe. There's a lot of appreciative people back here praying for you all to come home safe and soon. Glad to hear from your mom that Jake is doing well.
Will,
It's been a while since I've read your postings. I pray that you will be home soon. Although I hope when you come home you continue to post. Keep us updated and know that you are not forgotten and are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hey did you ever quit smoking? Or was that wishful thinking?
God Bless!
Stacey
Damn Will that was um-bopalicious! You would think weapons manufacturer's would have made some improvements against the elements by now seeing as we tend to fight wars in the great outdoors.
I must confess that I prefer my Hanson Bros. a la the movie "Slapshot" - the one's that would go um-bop along side the BC's head.
Please keep a condom on you at all times as it just may save your life and preserve the staying power of your weapon.
Posted by: SzaffireBlue on October 8, 2003 06:18 PMHi Will,
Yikes! I didn't realize that it's still really hot over there, still over 100 degrees each day. I'm really relieved to hear that you guys are still alive and kicking. Um-Bop - pretty funny! Yes, it's sticking in my head, and I'll probably be chuckling to myself at work most of the day tomorrow.
Thanks again to your mom for posting and letting us know that you're okay, and updating everyone on little Jake.
I continue to be impressed with your awesome sense of humor. It never occurred to me that a condom could be used that way - pretty cool! (Blush).
Hey, don't leave us hanging off the cliff too long! I can only imagine what the rest of your story will be.
As always, you guys are in our thoughts and prayers. I can't give enough thanks for the sacrifices you all are making to keep the rest of us all safe and secure. Hang in there and stay safe.
I sent weapons protectors to the son before you guys left. Shall I send more with the usual goodies? RSVP.
I'm glad you made it safe. How much do you think it would cost to send an air conditioner and generator priority mail from California to Iraq?
I am so glad you led my son and the rest of the men and women to your destinations safe and sound. Thank goodness someone with caring, common sense, and brains is taking care of our soldiers. Maybe you should let all the brass stay in their helicopters so the rest of you will be safe. No maps, lovely...just lovely...
Apologies to all in advance, but that song is damn well torturing me. Here's the words in case you guys need to inflict some sort of eternal pain on 'the enemy' whilst you're there.... enjoy...
Mmm Bop, by Hanson...
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You're going through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
In an mmm bop, they're gone
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
No one knows
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Can you tell me? Night came but you don't know.
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
You say you can but you don't know.
You don't know
You don't know
Mmm bop
Ba du bop
Ba du bop
Ba du
Mmm bop
Ba du bop
Ba du bop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Take care out there Will...
ECG
hmmm. watched some of michigan's marine reservists arrive home on the 11 o'clock news last night. one man stood sobbing in his mother's arms. others clutching their children or wives. some smiled. but most just looked relieved.
most of them are still in iraq.
please keep as safe as you can.
Posted by: cris on October 9, 2003 09:31 AMI guess it's a generational thing - I have no idea what UM-Bop refers to. Thought it might be a Cindy Lauper song, but I guess not.
Glad to see your latest blog Will. Do you think you'll ever want to go to the beach again?
Mels
Condoms work well from what I hear. Definitely interesting to hear about what is REALLY happening. I'm staying tuned...
Posted by: Trish Lewis on October 9, 2003 12:46 PMGlad to hear from you Will! Just to let you know, I can hardly make it anywhere WITH a map! Kids in the back crying, husband won't stop for directions...
Stay safe, I'm sure you'll make it without the map!
Glad to hear that Jake is home! You can teach him to stay humorous in the most harsh conditions, and pray that he won't have to do the same anytime in the near future.
Posted by: Mary on October 10, 2003 02:02 PMHey Will I can't believe I just found out about your website. I recieved a phone call from the unit today and it was great to hear some vioces from faces I haven't seen in months. The non-deploys are ready to join up with with the unit if the army would let them. Many want to join the war but higher ups denied their request. We will continue to pray, support and hold our heads high. If you need anything you know where to find me. The Family Readiness Support Group is going great and all those left behind are strong, proud, and waiting for all the troops to come home.
Your Biggest Supporter the Non-deploy family!!!
Posted by: NCOIC on October 10, 2003 03:12 PMwill, Hello This is my frist time writing although I hope not the last . You dont know me but i know you , sort of - ( erine keeps us well informed ) I have enjoyed all you sharded with us . Thank you for takeing the time to share with us . your messages have put me closer than i would ever want to be to war , although through you & others we do live it . Angels be with you ! until anoughter day .
Paula & Family In Neabraska
the election at the California to be more one episode of serie twiling zone
Posted by: lp7 on October 11, 2003 01:51 PMGlad to hear that you are safe and sound.. I am new to your blog site only posted exactly two comments including this one but I will be back from time to time to see how you are progressing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for a safe and quick journey home to your mother and family.
Hugs,
Cassandra
Hmmm...
Air conditioning, condoms, and then going on an adventure...what more could you ask for!?
Sorry Will...didn't mean to sound cruel...*sighs* I was doing the 'half full' theory....guess it didn't work that well, eh? On a brighter note, now another 'movie star' has stumbled into the California arena of politics...entourage and all. Now doesn't that cheer you up?
I must say, I'm extremely jubilant I don't listen to the sort of stations that play that eternally irritating song...heard it once and that was enough, thank you. Next they'll be using that damn tune on a 7up commercial. Grrrrrr and Arrggghhh!
In breathless anticipation of part 2, and with prayers, for you and yours,
Judi
Posted by: Judi on October 13, 2003 05:13 PMHello nice Will,
so where you are,now!Ops...we forget,you are to Um-Bop,"excuse"...you don't worry,we'll don't forget it,Um-Bop is more nice.
We are thinking:If the weapons jam with sand then there aren't job,then what do you do?Simple,return to home.The idea isn't badly,true?Force and courage!
P.S.:To john:How are you now?
Hello to all
Milena and Adriana
In case anyone is going to send Will condoms, make sure they're the UNlubricated kind.
The only time and place that you want to use those things - that I know of, is at the end of a barrel.
As far as the weapons designers knowing we are using their rifles outdoors... I don't think anyone can build a rifle impervious to Kuwaiti/Iraqi sand. It's like talcum powder, not the sand we're used to.
Posted by: Kevin on October 17, 2003 04:00 PMCome back alive!
Posted by: angie on November 2, 2003 05:20 AM
Will is a pretty good writer and this is the collection of his writings. It'll be interesting to hear updates from a soldier's point of view, so I'll be posting them for all to read.
Take care Will